The first time I kissed a girl
She said I did it wrong.
(She told me eyes must be closed.)
The first time I kissed a guy
It didn’t take so long.
(I was really unprepared.)
The first time I wore a dress
A wig obscured my head,
(While rocking makeup, heels ‘n hose.)
The first time I saw a woman’s breast
A baby was being fed.
(I didn’t quite know where to look.)
The first time I proposed
She told me “absolutely no.”
(The second time she said “no” again.)
The first time I saw her glow
She told me she loved me so,
(And then I drove her home).
The first time I was engaged
She eloped and didn’t tell her folks.
(She didn’t tell me either.)
I’ve died a thousand little deaths since then,
Imagining places I’ll never know,
As age begins to take its toll.
But now I know to close my eyes,
To wear low heels and only glance, and
To not give up when first answered “no”.